Locked Up

As a kid what was your mentality? What was your disposition? When I was growing up there were many different types of kids. There were some that were confident or seemed confident and always lead their friend group. There were those kids that didn’t quite know who they were, and they would just follow the people around them. Good or bad, it didn’t matter, they were going along. Then there were those game changer kids. They didn’t really lead anyone because no one would follow, but they were there to change things up. And then there were the bullys. These kids were similar to the kids who didn’t know who they were and followed. But instead of following they needed to lift themselves up, by putting others down. Those kids were the worst. But maybe it wasn’t all their fault right?

Well I hate to say it, but I think I have one of those kids in my family. And it is hard to say exactly if this is true, but I do know that wherever he goes, trouble seems to follow. It is strange though because I don’t think this it is something that he has learned from our family, or that it was taught by us. But I could be wrong. Yet either way trouble seems to be there. And as I listen to the way that he talks to his “friends”, the more and more I think that he may be the instigator. And I am not a fan.

Him and I have talked about it over and over, but for some reason he just won’t listen. I think that the reason that he won’t listen is because he has decided the things that I have to say are not truth in his life. And how does it get to that? What did I have to say to have him not trust me? Or maybe he just needs to learn on his own? I am again unsure of this. But I do know that right after the middle of last school year, he was able to learn on his own.

During school my son decided to take into his own hands a bully that was bullying one of his friends. And in doing so, he ended up needing to present his case in front of the schools administration and show that this was a one time event, and that he would not do it before. So we dressed up with our button down shirts, our nice shoes, and our ties. We brought copies of all of the relevant information to show him, that he was at the moment, not able to make the best decision, but that he was working towards it. It got to the point that I was even in tears. I needed my son to know that what he did was wrong, but as a father, I didn’t want him to have to go through being kicked out of school, off the football team, and away from his friends. But what could I do?

The day came when we got the phone call, and though they had all the information that they needed to keep him in school and learning, they didn’t. It was too much on the school. This incident had been shared across social media from other students that witnessed it, and it was a black eye for them. They had to put their foot down no matter what. And my son got his real first life lesson for mistakes made. 43 days and the rest of the school year was gone. He didn’t get to go back, and so much was lost. I did think so much was learned though. We got to work with him, and get him around some more positive influences, and show him that despite the decision that he made, he could be loved.

And isn’t this true for all of us? Don’t we all make silly mistakes sometimes? Don’t we sometimes do the things that we don’t wan t to do? Isn’t there times where we need someone to just pick us up? So that is what we wanted to do. To show him that he wasn’t the problem. That the decision that he made was. That he could come out of this better. He could learn from it, and grow as a man. That it is not wrong to want to stick up for your friends, but there are better ways to handle it.

So who has your back? Who’s the person that will be your first phone call if you were to be “locked up”? Who has your back even when you make mistakes, but also wants to see you succeed and get better? If you don’t have that person, then life is going to be so much harder. So think about it. And find someone that really cares. So I leave you with this. We all make mistakes. We all do things sometimes that we don’t want to do. And we all need the support to help us when things are falling apart. We need that person that will love us in the middle of the turmoil of this adventure we are on called life.

So until next time. Remember to adventure when you can, but love always!